Making a Meeting

FO still can't use his email, and can't set a meeting for himself. This means that when he wants to cause a meeting to happen, he has to enlist some innocent bystander's help, who will then be held responsible for the fact that he won't turn up for it himself, either, because it doesn't appear in his calendar, because he can't use his email! It's generally safer that way, anyway. I even caught him pushing Tweet out of the way yesterday so that he could read his inbox at her machine. I'm sure it was done with tact and apologies, but she's the kind of girl who would never refuse such requests - from almost anyone.
So, FO made a meeting, and it was another one where I ended up using Merk as my sounding board, because Booker was more mouse-like than usual. I am beginning to fear that she has a problem dealing with authority figures, which are effectively any men older than her, or of a technical background. That's all of the males in this company. Most of the females are no older than her, now - except Anne - and that's interesting in itself. There was a time when I was the eldest here, but now there are several who have had more years and less wisdom under their belts.
Anyway, the meeting. I am a firm believer in having meetings with agendas, and we stick to the agenda, get the job done, and all walk away happy. That doesn't necessarily mean that any meeting I call goes exactly to plan, but it means that, barring interference, I can usually do what I say I'll do in he time I believe it should take - exactly like any project I run. I'm quite happy to cut out chunks of a meeting if it means finishing on time, and then not mentioning what got lost. I'm just as happy to tell a joke or make a diversion to fill in the minimum half-hour.
In this case, one of those things that I had hoped was going to have been finalised as soon as I left for holidays (to give Spin a chance of input after her return from holidays) hadn't been done (shock! horror!), and I discovered it was because FO had intervened. He then produced his own personal version (apologies to Merk for thinking he'd had a hand in that), and dumped it on me after I got back - two weeks after the original release date.
Poor Gabriel came to me and asked when it was due, and I kept saying "It's done", and was inadvertently lying. More of this later.
The meeting started without FO, which was good, and I took his input and explained to Merk how we pretty much had it covered in the original solution, with a few additions that I nodded over towards Booker. Just when I was ready to wrap up, FO came in (phone in hand), at first leaning in the doorway.
"Damn, we've left it too late."
He sat down and started ranting about how the work that had been done so far was useless for his project, may never get used in the product, and should follow someone else's outline (outsourcing an idea), rather than that which had been developed over a year in-house. About an hour later, I got him to admit that it didn't actually matter what it looked like, as long as we had one. Although we could change our minds later, what we had two weeks ago was more than sufficient to go on with, and was exactly what Gabriel had been waiting for.
Bad move. I shouldn't have mentioned that. I then had to calmly explain to FO that Tank and Axis had discussed their plans for implementing the next stage, and now FO went off the handle about it being unimportant what the data for the solution was, just that it worked, and that it got under way ASAP. Yes, thinking over their plans, there was no reliance on data, and Gabriel should no longer be pestering anyone for it for a week or so. This is assuming that Axis gets the time to work on it.
Another blunder. "What's Axis doing with it? I thought Tank was doing it??"
Merk jumped in with "I think there was a hand-over."
Whether that was enough explanation, or FO had just run out of steam, I don't know, but it was enough of a cue for me to wrap up the meeting - a little later than expected.
"Well, we're all agreed that the original solution stands for the time being, and we can progress."
FO stormed out, and I noted to Booker and Merk, probably still in hearing range "I told you we should have finished before he arrived."
There are people who turn up to meetings to hear the sound of their own voice. I go in the hope that I don't have to listen to my own - that someone else - anyone - will say something useful that can add to my personal store of knowledge. FO does not achieve this. He adds to the unknowledge. He sucks knowledge out of a room, replacing it with the chaotic confusion of no longer knowing what is right or wrong, which way is up, who said what, or what we're all doing sitting around a table in an artificially-lit room staring at a flickering projector screen full of a screen-saver's colourfully distracting, but ultimately useless images.