I'll be Mother

No, this is not some reference to my time in prison ...
In every organisation large enough to have its own kitchen, there is a problem over keeping it clean. When this company was a lot smaller (one room), we used to traipse down to the shared facilities, where a beautifully-maintained cappucinno machine would pour forth its frothy brown delight, and cups would be collected from there by someone paid a pittance to do nothing more than load up the dishwasher and make the place look tidy.
When we left those ideal, but very expensive, surrounds, our kitchen was a cupboard, and we'd go down to the toilets to fill a jug with water (from the basins, that is), and cart it back to the office to our own grim machinery, which I would clean on a regular basis. When Veg joined us, he was the coffee connoisseur, and would tell me when the machine was acting up, but would never take it on himself to do anything about it. Even Beach, who might have considered it her job then, merely giggled her way to my desk to point out that something needed to be done. We were a much smaller collection then.
Now, we've built up this little group from about 12 to 20 in a lot larger office space, with a proper kitchen, our own dishwasher, professional coffee machine, poor little Tutu with the responsibility of operating the dishwasher, and still a reliance on me to handle the coffee machine. This was all well and good when I was one of those who used the machine - twice a day, mostly - but now that I've given up the demon caffeeine (horrors!), I feel less affinity for cleaning up after others and servicing their needs (so to speak).
I spend less time in the kitchen waiting. If the jug just boiled, I make my tea and leave. If it hasn't, then I'll walk away until it has. That's the thing with jugs - they're predictable. Coffee machines could do anything during your coffee. For one thing, the last fool to use it could have left it dry, or the milk frother empty, may have left it full of coffee capsule, or water overflow, or any of a number of such simple problems. I seem to be the only one who notices such things. Maybe I look for them too often with my critical eye. Having once been the height of technical excellence in this organisation, I jokingly referred to it as a part of my job. Now, as the chief of product, I have less interest in other people's.
I don't mind wiping down the cupboards, resealing the biscuit box, taking the empty boxes out to the recycling bin (around the corner), replacing the water bottle; but there's got to be a limit. Someone else must have a clue, surely. When people like Tweet burn toast and wonder why there's a stench in the kitchen, it's for me to say - "Don't worry, I'll be mother and clean the toaster. You go enjoy your lunch."
Then again, if Beach puts up a sign that says "You Mother doesn't work here. Clean yourself up." (I kid you not), then it's also for me to add a "Keep Smiling" directive.

I once worked for a company where they hired someone to keep the kitchen clean (there were over a hundred (semi-)technical staff), clean white-boards, collect print-outs, etc. After a month or two, they made her the CEO's PA, and no-one noticed the difference.